ood required Thus spake the computer Video Nasty; Shower; Military Academy; Nudity; Puppy; Revenge; Soccer; Computer; Nerd; Occult; Pig; Satanism; Nude Woman Murdered; Heart Ripped Out; Decapitation; Heart In Hand; B Movie; Cult Favorite; Gore; Obscene Finger Gesture; Independent Film; A military cadet Clint Howard who happens to be a social outcast taps into a way to summon demons using his computer bathtub death scene; Naked Woman Theatre Video Nasty video nasty list Shower video nasty list Military Academy video nasty list Nudity video nasty list Puppy VIDEO Nasty computer speak; Cast Evilspeak; Clint Howard - Stanley Coopersmith; R G Armstrong - Sarge; Joseph Cortese - Reverend Jameson; Claude Earl Jones - Coach; Haywood Nelson - Kowalski; Don Stark - Bubba and also Donna's Dad from That Seventies Show; Charles Tyner - Colonel Kincaid; Hamilton Camp - Hauptman; Louie Gravance - Jo Jo; Jim Greenleaf - Ox; Lynn Hancock naked - Miss Friedemeyer; Loren Lester - Charlie Boy; Kathy McCullen - Kelly; Lenny Montana - Jake; Leonard D'John - Tony; Bennett Liss - Captain Merrill; Katherine Kelly Lang - Suzie Baker; Richard Moll - Father Esteban and is also BULL from NIGHT COURT; Robert Tafur - Old Priest; Sue Casey - Mrs Caldwell; Kristine Alskog - Teacher; Thomas Hilliard - Teacher; Nadine Reimers - Peasant Girl; Deborah Dawes - Attendant; DeForest Covan - Janitor; Jane Bartelme - Girl Student; Alan Harris - Cadet; Previously banned in the UK as part of the infamous Video Nasty list during the 1980s; Directed by; Eric Weston; Writing credits; The US version released by Anchor Bay Entertainment is the uncut uncensored version containing all the violence gore and nudity This version was finally released in the UK in 2006 by Anchor Bay as part of their Box of the Banned compilation series; Joseph Garofalo writer; Eric Weston writer; Produced by; Gerald Hopman - associate producer; Sylvio Tabet - producer; Eric Weston - producer; Original Music by; Roger Kellaway; Cinematography by; Irv Goodnoff; Art Direction by; George Costello; Makeup Department; Allan A Apone - makeup effects supervisor; Production Management; Alan R Green - production manager; Art Department; Tommy Estridge - set dresser; David E Harshbarger - set dresser; Sound Department; Don Summer - boom operator; Special Effects by; Harry Woolman - special effects; Camera and Electrical Department; Clyde E Bryan - first assistant camera; Jesse Mather - lighting technician; Costume and Wardrobe Department; Kerry Lyn McKissick - assistant to costume designer; Editorial Department; Robert Leader - assistant film editor video nasty list; Other crew; Lee Sollenberger - animal trainer wild boar; Jenny Townsend - script supervisor; Distributors; Moreno Films 1982 USA theatrical; Anchor Bay Entertainment 2004 USA DVD; CBS Fox USA early 1980's; Cinéma Plus Vidéo; Special Effects; Makeup Effects Laboratories; Originally clocking in at over 103 minutes nearly 11 and a half minutes were cut from the film before the snips for the R rating were made Additionally one scene was reedited The following are the differences between the original version and the 92m theatrical cut; The soccer game is cut by 51s removing the part where West Andover even the score and Ox's and Charlie Boy's nicknames are mentioned; The male shower scene is cut by 20s removing dialogue about Esteban and visiting day; An exterior shot of Coopersmith entering the chapel for the first time in the film followed by an interior one of him walking between the chapel pews have both been removed 35s; A 9s shot of Coopersmith rounding a corner in the basement is cut; To make a jump scare work better 47 seconds have been cut of Coopersmith overhearing Sarge's and Reverend's drunken rowdy conversation in the basement; One line of dialogue is cut when Reverend is telling Sarge that Coopersmith is on punishment detail 7s; One line of dialogue is cut when Reverend is telling Mrs Caldwell about Esteban while the two are in the chapel 7s; 25s have been cut of drunken Sarge looking for Coopersmith while Coopersmith is attempting to pry the temple door open; To make, before the perm, back when he was muscular and slightly better looking.

The plot is somewhat familiar. Coopersmith is terrible at sports, so the Bubba and his butt-headed minions decide to do some nasty things to him to make sure he can't play in the big game. In that he's mostly friendless he has to seek refuge in other areas. I say MOSTLY friendless, because one cadet does indeed befriend him... his name is Kowalski and he's played by DWAYNE FROM WHAT'S HAPPENING?! Yeah, man, you can add Haywood Nelson to the list too! What's next, they decide to unwind and blow off some steam by taking a TAXI to CHEERS? Is RHODA going to be there, man, or is she still visiting with THE JEFFERSONS?

No, no, no, no such luck. Soon, the gritty (yet bad) and the silly (yet bad) collide in the basement of the Military School's Chapel, which, we learn, was founded by that same old Chick Choppin' monk, Father Esteban. In case that Beach Sacrifice didn't clue you in, he wasn't a terribly good Catholic.

While helping Reverend Jameson (Joseph Cortese), obviously no relation to Jenna, clean up the cellar, "Cooperdick" (as his enemies call him) discovers one of those nearly ubiquitous "HIDDEN ROOMS", containing the remnants of Esteban's Satanic relics, including one Anti-Bible that the Clintonator takes a particular shine to. It also contains plenty of dust and cobwebs and really old papers and even older clothes... so naturally he lights every candle in the place. Man, I want to see that Military School Entrance Exam!

Anyway, over the course of the next few days, "the Almost-Richie" starts translating that Pentagram Tome using an advanced device known as a "Com-Pu-Ter". Unbeknownst to Super-Duper-Coopersmith, by reading the pages of the Satanic Spells of Esteban (simply chock full of oaths to one day return) into said "Com-Pu-Ter", it becomes possessed and starts acting like an Evil R2-D2, guiding him astray into the realm of Video Nasty-hood. In some respects this is a lot like Electric Dreams, but without the Boy George songs.

Stark (whom, unfortunately, we see Stark Naked) and his military morons never let up, though, so the inevitable must happen. "The Inevitable Must Happen"? Obvious statement there. Moving on. Anyway, the newly empowered Superdick-Duperdick Cooperdick must have his revenge... it's "Inevitable". Him and his "Com-Pu-Ter-Dick", that is.

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